On Deploys

Ron: "Every time we flip, God kills a kitten."

On Consistency

Joanna: "I want the knife to be bloody."

On Tasty Alcoholic Beverages

Joey: 'Buttery nipples are worth looking like a sorority girl for.'

On 'Time to Penis'

Me: 'That wasn't a real penis.'

On Slighting the Friends You Have

Charlie: "Dana, don't tell Diego, but it's dinner time!"
Me: '"We're in the middle of a deploy, but I'll be there in a few minutes."
Charlie: "That's ok. I'll go eat with all my friends."
Me: "ALL your friends?! Thanks, Charlie."


10 minutes later, I pass by Charlie eating dinner by himself.

THE Question

Charlie, in his first conversation with me: "So Dana. If we were in a forest...and a BEAR was chasing after us...would you push me down to save yourself?"

Me: "No, I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I did that."

Charlie: "But you'd be ALIVE."

On 'Friendship'

Charlie to Diego: "I'll put my chocolate in YOUR peanut butter."

Reese's are forever ruined for me.